Fake Tans and Navel Oranges
Am I the only person who can look at someone and peg them for having a fake tan? I know it’s getting “near” spring and summer time, but geez!
I’ve been seeing a lot of young ladies (I live in a college town) walking around (since January) with faces that look like they’re about to crack and fall off.
Do they not look in the mirror?
Do they not realize that in just ten short years they’re gonna be the spitting image of beef jerky?
Ok, Ok, to each their own, but seriously.
Really?
Do they not know they look like an old school oompa loompa?
Do they not realize that laying in an oven for what adds up to hours on end is not really good for your internal organs, let alone skin?
Really?
Do they actually think it looks nice to be the color of a navel orange?
I remember back in my day, sheesh I’m not that old, but it is a different day and age then when I was in college. Girls used to actually lay out. and get sunkissed. None of this laying out in the sun until you look like the mascot for the Syracuse Orangemen. None of this spray on or tanning bed “bronze” that makes you look like a nerf basketball, you remember the ones, the ones with the little hoop you could put on the top of your door…but I digress.
Thankfully I live with a woman who has creamy, ivory skin. It’s the way God made it. Does she like to get a little color? Sure, but she likes to generally stay in the same ball park of shades. I’ve seen some girls lately that literally look like they slipped and fell into a vat of orange sorbet. It looks good chilled in a cup, but as a skin tone? Not so much.
Ok, enough of my ranting, if you’re a fake tanner, more power to you. My hobby is video games. I’m sure in some shape, form, or fashion I can link video games to some detriment to my health as well, but at least I don’t look like a british guitar amp.













